| On the move, April, 2005 | 2005 年四月某日 |
| Concerns: China, Taiwan, the world | 關於中國、台灣及全世界 |
| Fellow creatures! | 各位同伴們！ |
| It is with joy I release Chinglish. | 我很高興在此推出 Chinglish 。 |
| “Ching-what?” | 「 Ching 什麼？」 |
| Chinglish! | Chinglish ！ |
| Some believe Chinglish is the form of incorrect English spoken by Chinese people. True enough. I recollect the time of the cohongs, when translators and interpreters scurried around the block to assist the big noses in trading. The lingo they developed went down the annals as Chinglish. | 有些人認為 Chinglish 來自中國人錯誤百出的英文口語。這說法基本上沒錯。我回想起滿清末年，那時無論書面或口譯的翻譯人員都在公行裡圍著洋人亂轉，協助他們進行貿易。他們發展出來的行話稱為 Chinglish ，被寫入史冊流傳了下來。 |
| Sweet paradox. Take a more literal and etymologically sound approach and you will find it is a contraction of the words Chinese and English. | 這說法可真新鮮。從字面和語源著手，你就會發現這個字是由 Chinese 和 English 縮短而成的。 |
| I can just read your minds. | 我看得出你想說什麼。 |
| “Chinese? The culture that has given us the art of printing? English? The culture that has given us the internet? Chinese and English, the two prevalent languages of the world?” |
「中華文化？發明印刷術的那個？ 英式文化？發明網際網路的那個？ 中文和英文，世界上兩大優勢語言？」 |
| Yes. | 是的。 |
| Chinglish is semantic gunpowder. Myth had the latter invented by a daoist priest looking for an elixir of youth and eternal life1. It took a barbarian mind to find a contrary application. | Chinglish 是語義上的火藥。最近一位道士在尋找長生不老的青春靈藥時 虛構了這個故事1。它把野蠻人的心思引到相反的應用上。 |
| Ammunition is not the solution to the problems the world is facing today, less it be in the above-mentioned linguistic sphere. Taken literally, it destroys. Taken metaphorically, it offers unexpected opportunities. It will explode the rock that blocks a mountain track. It challenges, provokes, rattles, agitates, but also soothes with healing properties. | 彈藥不能解決現今這世界所面對的各種問題，在上述的語言學領域中更沒有用武之地。照字面上說，它搞破壞。從喻義上來說，它提供意想不到的機會。它炸開山道上擋路的岩石；它挑戰、激勵、發出巨大的聲響、煽風點火，卻也具有減輕痛苦的療效。 |
| Seen in that light, Chinglish becomes a powerful weapon. | 就那方面來說， Chinglish 成了有力的武器。 |
| A big rock, indeed, has been obstructing communication between East and West for many centuries. Never had I given this much thought until a couple of years ago, when I hit, feeling a bit run down, upon the ´why-is-that-rock-there´ question. The rock was prompting a decision, namely going back, finding a way around it, or simply blowing the damn thing to pieces, which was easy enough but would have caused a jolly mess. | 一块巨大的岩石，真的，许多个世纪以来一直妨碍了东西方之间的沟通。直到两三年前，我在偶然间遇到「为什么那块大石头会在那里」的问题而感到筋疲力尽，才开始仔细思考这件事。这块岩石驱使我做出决定，也就是走回去，在它附近找出一条路来，或者干脆把这该死的东西炸成碎片。炸掉它是满容易的，可是会弄得一片混乱。 |
| Retracing my steps was certainly not an option. It would have taken me to old trodden fields instead of undiscovered new lands. Dynamiting seemed a bit rash at the time. Thus I decided to rest my aged bones and ponder for a while. | 回顧我的腳步並不是個辦法。它會把我帶向昔日的足跡，而不是未知的嶄新領域。在目前的情況下，爆破則似乎草率了些。因此我決定讓我這把老骨頭好好休息休息，仔細思考一會兒。 |
| A while became an hour, an hour a sleepless night. That was a lifetime ago. | 一會兒變成了一小時，一小時變成了無眠的一夜。那是上輩子的事了。 |
| I started talking to the rock. Whispered it to sleep with long forgotten lullabies. Told it my tales and joined in its contemplation. Shared food and drink to no avail. Blew gentle comfort to its face under diehard winter skies and rested its head in my lap on sad-lazy afternoons. Long, long hours did I try reasoning with it. On other occasions I threatened to pulverize it. It would not budge. | 我開始跟那塊大石頭說話。我對它低聲輕唱遺忘已久的搖籃曲直到睡著。我把自己的故事告訴它，也和它一起冥想。分享食物和飲料並沒有什麼用處。在頑固的冬季天空下，一陣風輕柔地拂過它的臉龐。在可悲的懶洋洋午後，它把頭枕在我的膝上。深夜裡，我試著跟它講道理。在其他的時刻，我揚言要粉碎它。它絲毫不為所動。 |
| And so did I sit and so did I sat. And so did I this and so did I that. Until a flimsy rumbling set out from within. I lay my ear to its stomach. Bowels of pity. No mistake. It grew louder. Loud became roaring. Roaring trembling and trembling chaos. | 我這樣坐又那樣坐，做了這個又做了那個，直到它的內部發出微弱的隆隆聲。我把耳朵靠在它的肚子上。同情心。沒錯。那聲音變大了。變成了震天價響的轟隆聲。轟鳴震顫不斷，震顫成一片渾沌。 |
| When it was over I picked up my tail and continued towards the East. Or maybe it was the West – I tend to forget. Luckily, it is of no consequence to my telling. Be that as it may, I am on the surf again, in an optimistic frame of mind. | 它結束之後，我站起來繼續朝東方前進。也有可能是西方吧 … 我老是忘記。幸運的是，我的敘述無關緊要。儘管如此，我仍以樂觀的心境再次站上浪頭。 |
| What I leave behind is ruins and rubble. Today, people started building a city there. I imagine its residents will succeed in expanding their community. One system, two characters. I have seen it cause some controversy in my days, believe you me. | 我留下廢墟和瓦礫。今天，人們開始在那裡建造一座城市。我猜想那些居民會順利地擴展他們的社區。一個系統，兩種角色。相信我，我曾見它在我的時代引起過一些論戰。 |
| Do not ask for its exact location. All I know is that it is in the dot com area. | 不要問它的確切位置在哪裡。我所知道的只是它位於達康 (dot com) 地區。 |
| Farewell. I salute and sign, Ke Ke | 再會。我敬禮致意，並署名 可可 |
| 1) In reality, all he did was stumble upon the remains of my breakfast. | 1) 事實上，他所做的一切只是摔倒在我吃剩的早餐上。 |
